Author Archives for: canoodle


Couples buying a sex toy for the first time

Hey My Lovelies, So, I have a few tips on buying sex toys as a couple, these are a must my sweets;

So if you are buying sex toys for the first time, please please please sit down and talk about it, it’s so much fun sitting down and browsing the internet looking for a toy to spice up your love life, there are so many fun sex toys out there all different shape and sizes, you certainly don’t want to arrive with a 15″ Dildo that is going to frighten the bejaysus out of your partner!!!!

So you are a first time user! My recommendation is a small Clitoral Stimulator, Now let there be no panic it’s not all about us, this can be used as a couple, it’s a fantastic toy for foreplay not only does it satisfy us ladies, it can arouse gentlemen too, with the vibrating sensations touching the Erogenous zones on your man it will drive him crazy, here are 2 examples of erogenous zones; The Nipples and the F Spot!! now where is the F Spot you may ask, well I shall tell you;

How to find it: The frenulum is the spot where the glands meets the shaft on the underside of the penis just below the head, and the concentration of nerve endings here is sometimes compared to the female equivalent of the clitoris. So there you have it!!!

Now when you receive your clitoral stimulator, there is one rule I have, because this toy is small under no circumstances do you use this toy for internal use this is fir external use only!!

Super Vibrating bullet

Next time we will go up a notch to intermediate!!!!

Have a wonderful Day


Matt’s 5 Magic tips for Valentines day !!! Not for the faint hearted !!!!!

Top 5 gifts for her for Valentine’s Day

Ah Valentine’s day, the day of the year when (mostly) men feel obliged to make an effort in the knowledge that it’s a safe guarantee of some action. Some people think it’s a shameless ploy by marketers and retailers to part you from your cash and you’d be right, but here we have some tips that can get you into the good books and not necessarily cost you cash. Well it’s really just one gift – oral. A shocking 52% of women say their men don’t go down on them enough. That really is shocking considering that a man will have no problem dropping his zip for some lip. So this Valentine’s Day tend to your woman’s lady garden, whether she’s got a bush or a shrub. Because god knows your pleasure area isn’t exactly winning any art prizes.

1. Treat yourself to a meal No, I don’t mean go to a fancy restaurant. You can do that too if you like, but notice that I said “Treat YOURSELF to a meal”. If you need it spelled out for you, then eat her pussy. Go downtown for a nibble. Take your time too, don’t just treat it like an ice cream and lick it like it’s a Loop the Loop. Bit it like it’s a Magnum, swirl your tongue around like it’s a Tangle Twister, carefully take your time to get to the goal like it’s the chocolate inside a Feast. Do all of this and she’s surely repay the favour on your Wibbly Wobbly Wonder.

2. Roses are red… Violets are blue, if you don’t eat her out, your balls will be too. That’s just a little poem for you. Get some rose petals and lay them out on your bed (made with fresh sheet, you dirt) Then lay her down, and forage in her undergrowth until you have her begging for your gnome. Ok, so I stretched my metaphors and euphemisms a little with this one, but you get the idea. Don’t make it seem like you’re just putting some time in downstairs so that you can get to where you want to go. You should want to do this and if it’s just not your thing then don’t force yourself to do it. She’ll pick up on that and it’ll make for an awkward and just not nice experience. I can’t believe I couldn’t work in a hoe joke.

3. Some romantic music… So you’ve got the rose petals, the bed is fresh with dryer sheets (or probably Febreeze) and you’re about to munch like a proper monster. This is where you can change things up. A lot of men complain that they don’t know what to do with a vagina when it comes to oral sex. Well, imagine that the clit is a tiny (yes, even smaller than yours) penis. In particular the tip of a penis, the most sensitive part. Do to that what you’d like done to the tip of your penis. Suck it, flick it, GENTLY nibble it. Flick fast, lick slow, change it up. Hum the national anthem if it keeps your concentration on check or if you want to get freaky why not try beatboxing some Wu Tang Clan into her, erm, beat box?

4. Buy her lingerie… Here’s a rule – unless she’s particularly stated that she wants the crotchless panties and peephole bra, stick with some classic lingerie. I’m not saying women aren’t into that, they are or it wouldn’t be sold. But chances are that she’ll buy them to surprise you. If you buy them for her, it’s like saying “hey, slip these on and then I won’t have to pull anything to the side when we’re drunk later”. Lingerie can sometimes be tricky, finding what she’s comfortable in, what she’ll feel sexy in etc. But generally if it doesn’t look like it came from a red tinted window in Amsterdam you should be ok. And don’t hide behind the excuse that you don’t know her size. Check her underwear drawer when she’s in the shower and you’ll have all the size info you need – and it’ll give you some clues to what styles she likes etc. Lingerie isn’t for you, it’s for her. Knowing that what you’ll be turned
on by what she’s wearing is one thing, knowing that you want her out of it as soon as possible is a bigger turn on altogether. Failing that, ask her to wear her favourite dress without anything underneath might just turn you both on enough that you won’t make it out of the house before jumping on each other. And we all know that a hot, kinky night in is much better than a fancy night out!

5. Take your time… We’re all grown ups here so I’m going to talk the way people talk. Take your time when you eat her pussy. Going down on a woman is one of the most enjoyable sexual experiences I can look forward to. If you think it’s boring, you’re doing it wrong. If she thinks it’s boring, you’re definitely doing it wrong. Read up on tips on how to do it. Or if you want some real tips? Watch some lesbian porn. Proper lesbian porn, none of the inflated boobs, fake tanned “OH YEAH TONGUE MY FUCK BOX” lesbian porn. Search for Melena Morgan, Elle Alexandra and get lost in related videos, links etc. These girls know what they’re doing, and more importantly what to ask their partner for. If you’re still thinking that going down on a lady is for the birds (geddit?) then mix things up with some 69 action. Trust me, if you’re putting your work in you’ll be on the receiving end of the best blowjob you’ve ever had. And if that’s not an epic incentive then there’s nothing more we can do for you.

Matt you Do have a wonderful way of words !!!! Thank you check out more of Matt’s work here my lovelies


Top 5 signs she’s NOT faking it

Top 5 signs she’s NOT faking it

Men, we like to think we’re God’s gift to women and their sexy parts. The harsh reality is that due to our over inflated ego, too much online porn and lack of actual experience with constructive feedback, we’re probably rubbish.

You’ll read tons of articles online telling you that size doesn’t matter. It doesn’t, it’s just a nice bonus. Kind of like the difference between a cream eclair bought in a petrol station versus one bought in a 7th generation local family bakery. One will leave you wanting more and the other will leave you feeling ashamed of yourself and wondering why you do it to yourself every time.

But I digress.

Anyway, ask a man if a woman he’s ever been with has faked an orgasm and he’ll probably look more offended than a Muslim in a teddy bear art gallery. Fact is that 26% of women fake orgasms every time they have sex. So lads, if you’re out with 3 mates and by some miracle you all pull – one of you will be leaving a lady wishing she had an eclair instead.

But you need wonder no more. Here are Canoodle’s Top 5 Signs that She’s NOT Faking it!

1. The most beautiful word in the English language – Moist
It’s basic physiology. When a woman is super aroused her vagina gets wet. I could sugar coat it with better terms, but that’s what it boils down to. If after the deed you find yourself more than a little dry, then chances are that she was less than honest with her moans of passion.
On a slightly less romantic note, if just before the main event she mutters “Spit on that first, love” then she probably just wanted to get it over with in the first place.

2. Is she looking a little flushed?
Rosey cheeks were once a sign that a woman was healthy, which is where the fashion of blushing with makeup originated from (lots of facts in this here piece). In this instance we’ll think of rosey cheeks being the result of a good work out. Like when you’re perving on women in the gym you probably wouldn’t have noticed (because you were ogling her yoga pants while trying not to get spotted) that her face was red, she was sweaty and out of breath.
Well good sex is a lot like a work out.
If she doesn’t look like she’s at least had a short sprint, she was being liberal with her vocal encouragements.

3. Is she a little out of breath?
You know how in movies when there’s a sex scene and they flop on to their backs and they’re all out of breath for a minute? Actually, scratch that. You know how when you have sex and you flop on your back and you’re out of breath just before you roll over, fart and fall asleep? Well if she’s not as out of breath as you are, you didn’t do something properly. It’s like being on a see-saw – if you were the one doing all the bouncing and she was just being bounced around then she wouldn’t be out of breath. She’d just be sort of shook up. Yeah, it’d be fine but she’d probably want to go on the slide next time, if you get my meaning.
4. Is she asleep before you?
It’s not an uncommon knowledge or joke that men fall asleep after sex, but truth is that if a woman finds herself on the receiving end of a good seeing to then she should be fit for the land of nod just as quickly as you are.
It’s all about endorphins or magic or something I don’t know.
Your lady should be out of breath, red faced and wetter than an otter’s socks just before she drifts off to the best night’s sleep she’s had since she binged on eclairs.

5. Does she want to go again?
You know why it sucks to be a man sometimes? Because we can have one orgasm at a time. Some women can have one right after another. And if you’re good enough your lady can enjoy all the benefits of her superior anatomy. All you need is some education (not porn), experience and to pay attention. Attention to what she wants, what she likes, what she tells you or how her body responds to what you’re doing.
Multiple orgasms aside, if you do what you’re supposed to then we can bet that she’ll be more than a little eager to get at it again.

If not, you can always buy her a cake and roll over.

If you want to get a little adventurous, or even explore with your partner remember that Canoodle has everything (and more) that you need to inject some fun into your sex life.

Compliments of Matt @


My first experience with vibrators was a long time ago. It was also my last up until recently! The ‘silver bullet’ I’d used in my early twenties hadn’t done a lot to get me off so I’ve been relying on my nimble fingers for longer than I care to remember. Then, recently, when I was offered the strange and wonderful task of reviewing some of the latest gadgets I eagerly agreed. These things should be talked about openly and honestly. We’re all adults, we need reviews on just about everything else before we make a purchase and , most importantly, I get to write about orgasms!!

I decided to start off with a mini vibe set called Water Works ( waterproof mini six pack ) . While it wasn’t the type of six pack that usually gets me wet there were definitely no complaints here. The base is like a small bullet with a curve at the top for clit tickling or a good ole g­spot stimulator. Then it includes 5 detachable soft jelly sleeves in varying shapes. There’s one that resembles a bird, a dolphin one, a strange flower shaped piece and two covers that look similar to the base but one is smooth and one has little bumps on it. I went for the latter piece for my first go and was pleasantly surprised by how quickly it got me going. There wasn’t a great amount of noise coming out of it either which is a bonus if you’re worried about the neighbours knowing when you’re diddling yourself. The speeds went up to an unbelievably high level but I kept it at a medium level as was afraid my bits would get too sensitive to enjoy the experience. Combined with some decent porn I was singing hallelujah within five minutes. I had been concerned that vibrator use would mean only one intense orgasm (I’m used to five or six with just me) but was delighted to be able to go quite a few times.

A couple of nights later I was a bit braver and wanted to find out how the wee dolphin attachment did its thang. It made me grin straight away when the two thin pieces for the beak started going 90 an hour!! If you want to get right into the clitoral area this is your toy! I found the sensation quite intense and unusual but very pleasurable but switched back to the old faithful from the previous session and once again had a few seriously rocking orgasms.

I’d recommend this kit to just about anyone. The various pieces will fit any humor (and easily into your purse if needs be) and I think it’s the perfect way to get into toys if, like me, you’re a bit of an accessory virgin. It would be a very handy and non threatening device to introduce into sex play with your man (or woman) too. I plan to test the rest of the attachments over the next week too and am pretty excited about it! I also have some more toys to tell you about over the next while so watch this space.

Yeah I'm Single female

Yeah – We’re Single Blog – courtesy of

So Valentine’s Day is but a memory for another year, and singletons can once again wear their status proud. Bitter and proud. But there’s no need to gorge yourself on left over Ben and Jerry’s and discounted chocolates, you can (and should) treat yourself. Yes, treat yourself at the hands of the person who knows you best – you.

Whether you’re a single man testing out the viscosity of different liquids in your house for sexy self time lube or a single lady belting out a Beyonce tune while ignoring your running mascara, we’ve got something for you.

Ladies – sure you have no one to watch The Notebook with, or stroke your hair and call you a princess, but even if you did, could he/she get you off? The “Yeah, I’m Single Female Box” is what you want and what you deserve.

A sexy lace thong with crotch still intact because a man didn’t pick it out. More vibrating stuff than an NCT failing gearbox, some lube in place of a “spit on it, love” and rose petals because, fuck it, you’re worth it.

Men – sure you’ve got no one to give you a sneaky handjob during Die Hard or when you’re tearing it up in Call of Duty, but even if you did, could he/she do it without crying “Don’t get it in my hair!”? The “Yeah, I’m Single Male Box” is everything you need to clear out the baby batter and set your mind straight again.

A silicone masturbator with some lube for when you run out of spit, a vibrating cock ring because that’s why, a prostate stimulator because you’re a modern man, some erotic (posh speak for fancy porn with mood lighting and blow dried hair) DVD’s and some condoms. Let’s face it, last thing we need is some silicone masturbators dragging you into court for a paternity hearing.

So screw Valentine’s Day and your happy attached friends in their ears, Canoodle have you covered.


Orgasm Day and we missed it Really!!!

Ok Ladies and Gentlemen so we missed National Orgasm Day, shame on us, we owe you an apology  for not letting you all know and  now you have missed out, or have you?? Well as far as I’m concerned everyday should be National orgasm day!! Why you may ask, well let me tell you


We all have stresses with everyday Life, Did you know that having an orgasm can relieve Stress, Oh Yes it surely can, When you have an orgasm Oxytocin releases a multitude of events including the release of Endorphins and these make you feel Amazing, Calm, Happy and ready to take on the world!!!! Oh and also make you sleep better.


Getting down and Jiggy with it for 30 minutes can burn up to 200 calories and if there is an orgasm or 2 thrown i, well all the better.


Now some may find it difficult to achieve orgasm, let there be no panic we at are here to help you, here are my top toys and my top tips to help you achieve the Stress free Orgasms!!!


My top tips to achieve an orgasm


  • Relaxed – try and relax take some time out it, Stop thinking about the Kids / work /bills etc, I know that is easier said than done, but it is quite difficult to achieve an orgasm if you are on edge.  
  • Environment – remove all distractions all household/workload chores are done, your bedroom is tidy , these are distractions, if your Distracted then you’re not relaxed!
  • Grooming – us ladies always feel so much better when we have waxed or shaved the Legs, Bikini line and underarms, Moisturise your whole body the Skin looks and feels more Subtle.
  • Toys / Lingerie – Dress up put something sexy on, this will really get you in the mood, introduce toys, toys are fun and can really give a helping hand in the Bedroom.
  • Foreplay – Extremely important, fool around for while, kiss, touch, Massage, the more intense you feel more the Likely you are going to achieve an orgasm.


My Top Toys