Top 5 signs she’s NOT faking it
Men, we like to think we’re God’s gift to women and their sexy parts. The harsh reality is that due to our over inflated ego, too much online porn and lack of actual experience with constructive feedback, we’re probably rubbish.
You’ll read tons of articles online telling you that size doesn’t matter. It doesn’t, it’s just a nice bonus. Kind of like the difference between a cream eclair bought in a petrol station versus one bought in a 7th generation local family bakery. One will leave you wanting more and the other will leave you feeling ashamed of yourself and wondering why you do it to yourself every time.
But I digress.
Anyway, ask a man if a woman he’s ever been with has faked an orgasm and he’ll probably look more offended than a Muslim in a teddy bear art gallery. Fact is that 26% of women fake orgasms every time they have sex. So lads, if you’re out with 3 mates and by some miracle you all pull – one of you will be leaving a lady wishing she had an eclair instead.
But you need wonder no more. Here are Canoodle’s Top 5 Signs that She’s NOT Faking it!
1. The most beautiful word in the English language – Moist
It’s basic physiology. When a woman is super aroused her vagina gets wet. I could sugar coat it with better terms, but that’s what it boils down to. If after the deed you find yourself more than a little dry, then chances are that she was less than honest with her moans of passion.
On a slightly less romantic note, if just before the main event she mutters “Spit on that first, love” then she probably just wanted to get it over with in the first place.
2. Is she looking a little flushed?
Rosey cheeks were once a sign that a woman was healthy, which is where the fashion of blushing with makeup originated from (lots of facts in this here piece). In this instance we’ll think of rosey cheeks being the result of a good work out. Like when you’re perving on women in the gym you probably wouldn’t have noticed (because you were ogling her yoga pants while trying not to get spotted) that her face was red, she was sweaty and out of breath.
Well good sex is a lot like a work out.
If she doesn’t look like she’s at least had a short sprint, she was being liberal with her vocal encouragements.
3. Is she a little out of breath?
You know how in movies when there’s a sex scene and they flop on to their backs and they’re all out of breath for a minute? Actually, scratch that. You know how when you have sex and you flop on your back and you’re out of breath just before you roll over, fart and fall asleep? Well if she’s not as out of breath as you are, you didn’t do something properly. It’s like being on a see-saw – if you were the one doing all the bouncing and she was just being bounced around then she wouldn’t be out of breath. She’d just be sort of shook up. Yeah, it’d be fine but she’d probably want to go on the slide next time, if you get my meaning.
4. Is she asleep before you?
It’s not an uncommon knowledge or joke that men fall asleep after sex, but truth is that if a woman finds herself on the receiving end of a good seeing to then she should be fit for the land of nod just as quickly as you are.
It’s all about endorphins or magic or something I don’t know.
Your lady should be out of breath, red faced and wetter than an otter’s socks just before she drifts off to the best night’s sleep she’s had since she binged on eclairs.
5. Does she want to go again?
You know why it sucks to be a man sometimes? Because we can have one orgasm at a time. Some women can have one right after another. And if you’re good enough your lady can enjoy all the benefits of her superior anatomy. All you need is some education (not porn), experience and to pay attention. Attention to what she wants, what she likes, what she tells you or how her body responds to what you’re doing.
Multiple orgasms aside, if you do what you’re supposed to then we can bet that she’ll be more than a little eager to get at it again.
If not, you can always buy her a cake and roll over.
If you want to get a little adventurous, or even explore with your partner remember that Canoodle has everything (and more) that you need to inject some fun into your sex life.
Compliments of Matt @ https://www.facebook.com/podskwod